A while ago my grandfather died. At the time I wrote about my experiences with it, arranging the funeral, the funeral itself and some interesting things I had never noticed or thought of before. Now, just a few weeks ago my grandmother has also died. So, now I am finally back in Sydney it's time I wrote about this funeral.
Having the experience of the other funeral so recently this one was fairly different. The circumstances behind her death were also different. Overall it was a pleasant experience, but there are some observations and thoughts about it.
Showing posts with label arranging. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arranging. Show all posts
2012-09-10
2012-03-12
How We View the Undertaker & Why Many Deny the Job
Funeral directors get a lot of different and often strong reactions when telling people their occupations. In fact many funeral directors I talked with admitted that they had lied about or avoided the topic of their job at least once. They are not ashamed of what they do, no, they are actually often quite proud. However they feel others would likely judge them for doing the work they do.
This is not an unfounded notion. For example take a moment to think of 'funeral director' or 'undertaker'. One will usual conjure an image of a strange guy in a dark suit and oddly wearing a top hat, a person who is odd in nature and a little creepy. To further this google "undertaker" and you will find, strangely enough, the top images are of a wrestler. His clothing and appearance is dark, wearing a brimmed black hat and usually shown as dimly lit and with fog. Search "funeral director" and we find more images of various people in dark suits; many of whom are walking in front of or next to a hearse. Although many of them are smiling most of them are lacking colour or warmth. Looking for "embalmer" or "mortician" we get images of people in a mortuary, usually over a steel table, posing with tools or performing a procedure. All of these images are cold, the tiled walls, the vapid colours and the lack of expression on the persons face. There is rarely any colour other than hospital green and no smiling in any of these photos.
It is clear that searching for funeral people or related positions results in almost negative results. But we might doubt this is representative of the general public. After all, search for "archaeology" and the top hit is of Indiana Jones swinging his whip. However I very much doubt this would be the first thought for most people when they think of archaeology. So it is not much of a leap to assume that the google results for funeral professional images would not be too smilar to what people think of funeral professionals.
Yet this is not the case, people do think of strange things when thinking of undertakers. Undertakers have just cause for 'hiding' what they do for a living from others. A common reaction I and others in the industry have experienced is "I couldn't do that". This is one of the first things a few have said to me, and something several in the industry said they have heard. As if the job is for very few and definitely not for them. In saying this most are referring to what they perceive as a difficult job, both in terms of being dirty and emotional.
Lets break down this idea of it being a dirty job. What is strange is that it is usually less dirty a job than what a nurse, doctor or carer would have. The closest undertakers get to the body is putting the deceased in a bag and then later putting clothes on them. There is little actual contact with a body, less than for many carers. Yet it is considered more dirty than other jobs by most people. But not just dirty, it is also seen as grose and unclean. A nurse deals with the living, an undertaker deals with the dead and just this fact makes the job more dirty. I have been questioned about the 'quality' of bodies, how they decompose and how fast they decompose. A few people have said how the job must be bad at times commenting that bodies decompose fairly fast. What they do not realise is that the funeral industry is an old and experienced one. Bodies are preserved in a special fridge. People have an idea that the job involves dealing with decomposing bodies constantly. These questions and ideas lead to the notion that the process of touching a body, let alone interacting with 'it' is dirty. I have also been asked about "the smell of death", which does not exist, the closest thing is the smell of the embalming chemicals. Their scent would cling to clothing, and some people did comment on the odd smell. But it is closer to a chemical smell than a 'scent of death'. The very idea that death can have a smell, and that undertakers would be use or exposed to it is interesting. Death itself has a presence, which lingers on those who associate themselves with it. In other words this dirtiness of the body (in this case the smell) clings to those who work with bodies. It follows them home and stays with them. Basically to many the act of touching a body is dirty in itself, but also that this dirtiness transfers to those who touch the body.
The emotional difficulty is also something some raise. Just recently I had someone say "it must be emotionally hard". That undertakers have a depressing job in dealing with the depressed living and dealing with the dead. Many think of a funeral as a sad and fairly depressing affair. We turn once again to our friend google to look for images of "funeral". What comes up are pictures, usually void of colour and just black and white of people standing around a coffin in a cemetery. The people are often crying or looking sadly at the coffin as it is either carried or lowered. What I found is that many funerals, while sad in a way, are a 'celebration' of the departed. People did not linger on the negatives of their loss but clung to the positives of their impact on those left behind. Of the good times they had and the good memories they will keep. However, to be perfectly honest, most funerals are more an excuse to have lunch while catching up with relative otherwise rarely seen. I was primarily a 'family car driver', which involved driving around the close family and/or friends of the deceased on the funeral. These families or friends were rarely depressed or difficult. Actually most were actually really fun and great people, and we often had a great time together. So funerals, and those attending, are not really emotionally difficult or draining in most cases. As for dealing with death and bodies this is not an issue. Not to sound cold but you will get use to it after a couple of bodies. Medical professionals who treat and work with patients have more trouble with 'death' or 'bodies than funeral directors. For example at some nursing homes where the staff focused on or spent a lot of time with patients they were sad to see them die. These nurses would often be involved in the transfer if they could, wanting to oversee the paperwork and the process. In doing so they would quietly or silently say their goodbyes to the patient. However the funeral director did not know the deceased in anyway other than them being deceased. Thus there is less emotional connection, simply put it is not personal. Having said that children or babies were different, especially to parents and more so if the deceased reminded them of their own child. While funerals were rarely a sad event, more often being closer to a family gathering, the children's funerals were different. They were not 'sad' or 'depressing' but were much more tense. Everything was more important, everything was more observed and everything had to go perfectly. Appart from children or infants overall I found being an undertaker was emotionally less difficult than working on a cash register.
There was once instance that was surprising to me. I had driven an older man, his wife and their first daughter on a funeral. The relation they had to the deceased I cannot remember. Either way the job had gone well and despite the husband and wife's lack of English we had a good time. We had a good time and everything had gone well. Then about six weeks later I was sent to an address that appeared familiar. upon arrival I recognised the place. It turned out that the husband had died and I was now driving his wife and all three daughters. Overall it was a really enjoyable job, the wife (still lacking English) obviously appreciated me being there again. We again had a good day, although now it had a slightly sad atmosphere to it. This was the closest I ever came to an emotional connection.
So people unreasonably see it as a dirty, emotionally negative job. But this is not enough for those in the industry to hide their occupation. The main reason for this is that a few people judge those with the job negatively. It is rare and I only experienced it once, yet it happens and especially with older or Asian people. Once they find out that the person is a funeral director they want little to do with that person. Mainly as they see it as dirty and that not only does this dirtiness follow the undertaker home but it makes the undertaker themselves dirty. Yes, some believe undertakers to be dirty or contaminated, marked by death and disease. Look at certain Asian cultures (such as those who are Buddhist, Indian or Chinese) who consider those in the funeral industry to be untouchable and the lowest class possible. A good example is the movie 'Departures' where a Japanese man discovers his calling in the funeral industry after he is unable to find any other work. At first he is reluctant and fights the idea of being an undertaker, only doing so as he is desperate for work. And when his wife finds out she leaves him. To certain groups being a funeral director is not just dirty but also wrong.
Many, especially those who are older or Asian, would react badly to the news of one being a funeral director. Even if they do not react badly, they often react inappropriately or are uneasy with the news. Thus many undertakes have avoided or actively lied about what they do for a living. All despite most being proud of what the job and understanding that, while it is not dirty or emotion, that most people will view it this way.
~~
This is not an unfounded notion. For example take a moment to think of 'funeral director' or 'undertaker'. One will usual conjure an image of a strange guy in a dark suit and oddly wearing a top hat, a person who is odd in nature and a little creepy. To further this google "undertaker" and you will find, strangely enough, the top images are of a wrestler. His clothing and appearance is dark, wearing a brimmed black hat and usually shown as dimly lit and with fog. Search "funeral director" and we find more images of various people in dark suits; many of whom are walking in front of or next to a hearse. Although many of them are smiling most of them are lacking colour or warmth. Looking for "embalmer" or "mortician" we get images of people in a mortuary, usually over a steel table, posing with tools or performing a procedure. All of these images are cold, the tiled walls, the vapid colours and the lack of expression on the persons face. There is rarely any colour other than hospital green and no smiling in any of these photos.
It is clear that searching for funeral people or related positions results in almost negative results. But we might doubt this is representative of the general public. After all, search for "archaeology" and the top hit is of Indiana Jones swinging his whip. However I very much doubt this would be the first thought for most people when they think of archaeology. So it is not much of a leap to assume that the google results for funeral professional images would not be too smilar to what people think of funeral professionals.
Yet this is not the case, people do think of strange things when thinking of undertakers. Undertakers have just cause for 'hiding' what they do for a living from others. A common reaction I and others in the industry have experienced is "I couldn't do that". This is one of the first things a few have said to me, and something several in the industry said they have heard. As if the job is for very few and definitely not for them. In saying this most are referring to what they perceive as a difficult job, both in terms of being dirty and emotional.
Lets break down this idea of it being a dirty job. What is strange is that it is usually less dirty a job than what a nurse, doctor or carer would have. The closest undertakers get to the body is putting the deceased in a bag and then later putting clothes on them. There is little actual contact with a body, less than for many carers. Yet it is considered more dirty than other jobs by most people. But not just dirty, it is also seen as grose and unclean. A nurse deals with the living, an undertaker deals with the dead and just this fact makes the job more dirty. I have been questioned about the 'quality' of bodies, how they decompose and how fast they decompose. A few people have said how the job must be bad at times commenting that bodies decompose fairly fast. What they do not realise is that the funeral industry is an old and experienced one. Bodies are preserved in a special fridge. People have an idea that the job involves dealing with decomposing bodies constantly. These questions and ideas lead to the notion that the process of touching a body, let alone interacting with 'it' is dirty. I have also been asked about "the smell of death", which does not exist, the closest thing is the smell of the embalming chemicals. Their scent would cling to clothing, and some people did comment on the odd smell. But it is closer to a chemical smell than a 'scent of death'. The very idea that death can have a smell, and that undertakers would be use or exposed to it is interesting. Death itself has a presence, which lingers on those who associate themselves with it. In other words this dirtiness of the body (in this case the smell) clings to those who work with bodies. It follows them home and stays with them. Basically to many the act of touching a body is dirty in itself, but also that this dirtiness transfers to those who touch the body.
The emotional difficulty is also something some raise. Just recently I had someone say "it must be emotionally hard". That undertakers have a depressing job in dealing with the depressed living and dealing with the dead. Many think of a funeral as a sad and fairly depressing affair. We turn once again to our friend google to look for images of "funeral". What comes up are pictures, usually void of colour and just black and white of people standing around a coffin in a cemetery. The people are often crying or looking sadly at the coffin as it is either carried or lowered. What I found is that many funerals, while sad in a way, are a 'celebration' of the departed. People did not linger on the negatives of their loss but clung to the positives of their impact on those left behind. Of the good times they had and the good memories they will keep. However, to be perfectly honest, most funerals are more an excuse to have lunch while catching up with relative otherwise rarely seen. I was primarily a 'family car driver', which involved driving around the close family and/or friends of the deceased on the funeral. These families or friends were rarely depressed or difficult. Actually most were actually really fun and great people, and we often had a great time together. So funerals, and those attending, are not really emotionally difficult or draining in most cases. As for dealing with death and bodies this is not an issue. Not to sound cold but you will get use to it after a couple of bodies. Medical professionals who treat and work with patients have more trouble with 'death' or 'bodies than funeral directors. For example at some nursing homes where the staff focused on or spent a lot of time with patients they were sad to see them die. These nurses would often be involved in the transfer if they could, wanting to oversee the paperwork and the process. In doing so they would quietly or silently say their goodbyes to the patient. However the funeral director did not know the deceased in anyway other than them being deceased. Thus there is less emotional connection, simply put it is not personal. Having said that children or babies were different, especially to parents and more so if the deceased reminded them of their own child. While funerals were rarely a sad event, more often being closer to a family gathering, the children's funerals were different. They were not 'sad' or 'depressing' but were much more tense. Everything was more important, everything was more observed and everything had to go perfectly. Appart from children or infants overall I found being an undertaker was emotionally less difficult than working on a cash register.
There was once instance that was surprising to me. I had driven an older man, his wife and their first daughter on a funeral. The relation they had to the deceased I cannot remember. Either way the job had gone well and despite the husband and wife's lack of English we had a good time. We had a good time and everything had gone well. Then about six weeks later I was sent to an address that appeared familiar. upon arrival I recognised the place. It turned out that the husband had died and I was now driving his wife and all three daughters. Overall it was a really enjoyable job, the wife (still lacking English) obviously appreciated me being there again. We again had a good day, although now it had a slightly sad atmosphere to it. This was the closest I ever came to an emotional connection.
So people unreasonably see it as a dirty, emotionally negative job. But this is not enough for those in the industry to hide their occupation. The main reason for this is that a few people judge those with the job negatively. It is rare and I only experienced it once, yet it happens and especially with older or Asian people. Once they find out that the person is a funeral director they want little to do with that person. Mainly as they see it as dirty and that not only does this dirtiness follow the undertaker home but it makes the undertaker themselves dirty. Yes, some believe undertakers to be dirty or contaminated, marked by death and disease. Look at certain Asian cultures (such as those who are Buddhist, Indian or Chinese) who consider those in the funeral industry to be untouchable and the lowest class possible. A good example is the movie 'Departures' where a Japanese man discovers his calling in the funeral industry after he is unable to find any other work. At first he is reluctant and fights the idea of being an undertaker, only doing so as he is desperate for work. And when his wife finds out she leaves him. To certain groups being a funeral director is not just dirty but also wrong.
Many, especially those who are older or Asian, would react badly to the news of one being a funeral director. Even if they do not react badly, they often react inappropriately or are uneasy with the news. Thus many undertakes have avoided or actively lied about what they do for a living. All despite most being proud of what the job and understanding that, while it is not dirty or emotion, that most people will view it this way.
~~
2012-03-02
Misconceptions & Questions - Part 2
This is the second post of misconceptions and questions I have found about the funeral industry.
Misconceptions & Questions - Part 1
Misconceptions & Questions - Part 3
Complete List of misconceptions & questions
- Has anyone ever been buried / cremated alive or woken up in a mortuary?
I do not know for sure, but I doubt it. The body is kept in a fridge which is between 3-5C. Too cold for anyone to survive long, especially on a metal or plastic tray and without clothes. So even if someone did go into a mortuary alive (which I doubt would happen) they would never wake up.
- What is rigor mortise and can you get rid of it?
Rigor mortise is basically a stiffening of the limbs. The joints become difficult to bend, this does not happen with all bodies, in fact it does not even happen in most. The way it is gotten rid of is through a process called "breaking the rigor mortise". Basically you bend the limbs back and forward a few times and the joints will losen up. This 'breaks' the stiffness and the body is back to normal.
- Is everybody embalmed?
No, in fact very few people are embalmed in Australia (unlike America or New Zealand where it is basically mandatory). Generally it is only done if needed for interstate or international transfers or if the body is going into a vault. There are several types of embalming ranging from ‘TP’ which is a temporary embalm used for preservation on long distance transfers. Then there is the ‘full embalm’ which can preserve a body indefinitely. Used mainly for those wishing to go in a vault or other special circumstances this is the real embalming dating back at least as far as the Egyptians.
- How long does it take to embalm a body?
There are several types of ‘embalming’ from the temporary ones to transfer them interstate or internationally to the full embalm to preserve the body for a long time. It will usually take about three hours to fully embalm a person.
- Does it smell in the mortuary and / or do you smell after working in there?
Sometimes, it depends. As with cooking, it sometimes smells, other times it does not, it depends on what you are doing. Some bodies smell, either they have "leaked" out an end or they have decomposed or they just smell. Other times it is due to the chemicals used by the embalmer. It is also the chemical smell which can cling to clothing, not the smell of the body.
- How do you keep bodies?
All mortuary fridges are kept between 3 and 5 degrees celsius. Any colder and they begin to freeze which damages the body and makes it hard to work with. Any warmer and there will be obvious side effects (like rotting). I, and others, have noticed that certain fungi will grow on bodies kept in the fridge for long periods. It is either orange or white and not found anywhere else. Not even on similar bodies if they are out of the fridge for a long time, nor on the fridge itself. This fungi is just something that can only grow on a body when it is kept in a fridge.
- Do you 'reconstruct' the body?
Rarely will we do much more than put on clothes and suture the mouth shut or brush their hair. Funeral homes in Australia avoid delving into makeup and other methods to make the body look life like. This is because it is just so difficult to get right. The person may have worn a lot of makeup, or very little, we do not know. And going by a photo is difficult because colours are not always accurate. Hair styling is something they also shy away from. Getting it 'just right' or at least 'good enough' for families is so difficult. Undertakers are not hairdressers, they are not makeup artists, they are just workers ferrying the dead about. I have never seen a funeral home employ a hairdresser or makeup specialist, nor have I even hear of it.
- Have you seen 'Six Feet Under'?
This is perhaps the most known TV show about a funeral home. And it is a great show, well written, interesting rounded characters, etc. But it is not accurate of an Australian funeral home. For one we do not embalm many bodies (although it is becoming more common), we very rarely put makeup or anything similar on a body (even if it is for viewing) and we always wear gloves when handeling the deceased or even in the mortuary. On the show they have a lot more focus on 'fixing' the appearance of the deceased. Using special tools and chemicals to make them look like they are sleeping. In Australia we tend to just suture the mouth shut, put some eye-caps under the eyelids and nothing much else. ALso on that show they never wear gloves much. Here we must always put on gloves before we even enter the mortuary.
~~
2012-03-01
Funeral Terminology
There is a bit of specific terminology in the funeral industry. But actually not that much, especially when compared with other areas such as psychology, medicine, etc.
General Terminology:
General Terminology:
- DC - Death Certificate, the original is essential with all burials and cremations. Also used as authority to transfer a body.
- CC - Cremation Certificate, the original is essential with all cremations.
- Intrim - A temporary DC used to transfer a body. It is not suitable for burial or cremation.
- NDY or Not Dead Yet - Someone who is soon to die and is arranging their funeral.
Transfer Terminology:
- Transfer - The process of moving a dead body prior to any service, such as collecting a body from the hospital to bring to the funeral home. Or taking the body to the airport to be sent overseas.
- Transfer Vehicle, Ambulance Hearse - Although 'ambulance hearse' is a much older term often considered inappropriate by many, it can still be used. Either way this is the vehicle used to transfer the body. It is usually a white Toyota Hiace van.
- Ambulance Stretcher, Collapsible Stretcher - A stretcher used to transfer bodies. It has collapsable legs, like an ambulance stretcher, which fold down and in with the use of a handel.
- One-Man Stretcher, Carry Stretcher - A stretcher used to transfer bodies. It has no legs, instead only two wheels on the foot end of the stretcher. It is much lighter and cheaper than the ambulance stretcher but the lack of legs makes it difficult to carry heavy bodies.
- Slide Sheets - Large slippery sheets made from parachute material. They are used to slide or carry bodies about, often in small or awkward spaces. Although these sheets are not cheap they are durable and reusable.
- Pat Slides - A flat, thin board, smaller than the average person. It is used in hospitals and nursing homes as well to slide a body from the bed to stretcher. Or to slide a body up or down small heights.
- Evacuation Pod - This is basically like a hammock that is sealed with buckles. Used to move a body up or down stairs. One person will hold the long handles at both the foot and head end which makes the weight even and controllable, even down steep stairs or slopes.
- Seat Slide - A cloth basket like carrier with four handles. It is used to move a body from a seated position (such as on the toilet or in a chair) and onto the stretcher.
- Body Bag - A blue large plastic bag made out of tarpaulin like material used for containing and moving a body. It has a long zipper from head to toe and can be unzipped so it is completely open. Although most body bags are simple and have no handels lately there have been more with handels, and more cloth style body bags.
- Valuables - Anything on the body other than clothes. Such as jewellery, pictures, watches, money, etc. It does not have to be worth anything. All valuables should be noted on the transfer sheet and in the mortuary book.
- ID Tag, Wrist Tag - An armband placed around at least one, but sometimes both wrists of the deceased. There should always be at least one on the body at all times. The wirst tag is similar to a hospital or club wrist band, plastic and secured with one press button that cannot be undone once fastened. Some places use different colours to represent different things, such as yellow for valuables to be returned to the family and blue for valuables to stay with the body or red for no valuables.
Funeral & Hearse Terminology:
- Goose Neck - The stopper used in a hearse to keep the coffin in place. It is slotted into special holes along the middle of the hearse and tightened with a horizontal screw with a rubber stopped on the end.
- Pegs - The small metal 'sticks' used to keep the coffin straight as it is loaded or unloaded from the hearse. They have rubber on the top to prevent damage to the coffin.
- Ropes - The long flat ropes used to manually lower the coffin at the grave.
- Automatic Lower - A device used at the graveside to lower coffins automatically. It can only be used on certain lawn graves. Basically it uses clockwork style gears inside to keep the speed steady and slow.
- Wing Droos, Side Doors - When referring to the hearse this is describing the small doors on either side that open to the space under where the coffin sits. The space underneath the coffin is completely hollow and designed to store things, these doors give access to that area.
- Coffin Bars - Long bars used to carry a coffin. At least two are placed under the coffin, one at each end, and one person will carry the bar on either side. This means at least four people will carry the coffin with both hands, which makes it much easier.
- Catafalgue - A special and specific object at crematoriums. This is what the coffin is placed on at the crematorium, be it fixed to the front or movable and on wheels.
- Crypt, Vault - A special above ground 'burial' for the deceased. Usually refers to a small stone building where four to ten coffins can sit on each level. It sometimes has two levels, one on the surface and one underground.
- Cortege - The process of cars following the hearse. They should (by law) have their lights on, but not hazard lights or high beams. The cortege should also have right of way (by law) at roundabouts and other intersections without lights. It is also highly illegal to cut-off a cortege, but this is difficult to prove or police.
- Police Cortege, Police Honour Guard - A special cortege which has police guiding it or blocking traffic at least part of the way. Very rare now with few funerals having police escorts unless the deceased had direct ties to the police or was extremely important. This type of cortege will often speed slightly and run read lights. They will also follow each other a lot closer in this type of cortege.
- Family Car, Mourning Car - The car provided by the funeral company to transport the family, friends of the deceased or the priest or celebrant. For example Greek Orthodox funerals must provide a free car for the priest, although they will often charge the family secretly.
- Zink Liner - A special inside lining made of zink. It is used for international transfers or for coffins going into a vault. The zink liner prevents fluids and gases getting in or out of the coffin.
- Grave Marker - A simple marker used to indicate where someone was recently buried. It can be used temporarily or in lieu of a gravestone. Most often it is a simple white wooden cross.
Mortuary Terminology:
- TP - A temporary, simple embalming of the body. It is much quicker and easier than a complete embalm.
- Aneurysm Hook - Perhaps one of the most useful and versatile tools in the mortuary. And it looks and feels great! With a flat hook on one end and a rounded scraper on the other it can be used in endless ways. Plus the gap in the middle makes it great for tying suture corde to, this means the needle wont go falling off the table.
- Forceps - Scissor like tool that seals, grabs and clamps rather than cuts.
- Trocar - An ancient device used to inject and/or remove fluids from a body.
This is a picture of just about every tool used in embalming or the mortuary in general. Starting from left to right at the top you can see the trocar, other similar fluid removing/adding tools, forceps and clamps and finally the different gauges of needles used for suturing and other such tasks. On the second, bottom row we see scalpels, scissors, a few different aneurysm hooks, tweezers and finally different attachments for the trocar.
~~
What is a Funeral Director?
What a funeral director or undertaker is may appear to be simple or obvious. But it is surprising how many people get it wrong. Unless they have been in or heavily around the industry many are quite wrong about = the industry. What our roles are, our responsibilities, what happens, who runs things and so on. Thus I have decided to put together a brief post about what a funeral director actually is. I will cover some other roles in the industry, but the focus is on funeral directors.
The public perspective is that the undertaker will organise the funeral, bring the coffin to the funeral, then to the grave or crematorium and that is basically it. This is fairly wrong. To start a 'funeral director' can mean and involve many different things. Once a mortician at a major hospital was telling me about the family of a deceased believing funeral directors were a rip off and un-necessary. As such they wanted to do everything themselves and save the thousands it costs to hire an undertaker. However he refused to release the body from the hospital as they did not have an appropriate vehicle. They had bought a station-wagon just for the job. But you need more than this, there are actual regulations and laws about what a vehicle needs to transfer a body, which a normal car does not meet. So they had the car modified specially, now it met the qualifications but he still could not release the body as they had incorrect papers. Then the family had issues with the cemetery. Finally they got a funeral director after much expense and waisted time. So obviously there is more to the role than just filling some forms and carrying a coffin.
I will break down the funeral director's role in order of action from beginning to end.
- Arranging the funeral: The arrangers are often experienced funeral directors who will go to the family's house and organise what they want on the funeral. From the coffin and flowers to printing the orders of service and buying the grave plot or booking the crematorium. They will book everyone and everything needed and just make sure it is all organised.
- Collecting the body: Firstly the funeral staff have to actually collect the body (through a process called a transfer). It could involve collecting the body from a hospital, crime scene, home, nursing home or just about anywhere else you can think of.
- Preparing the body: A lot of people have wishes for what they want done to their body when they die. And many are not willing or able to carry out these wishes on a loved one. This may involve just dressing the deceased in certain clothing. Or it could involve embalming the body for long-distance trips or for a crypt. The body is placed in the coffin in this stage as well.
- Driving: The hearse is long, big and heavy. It is best thought of as a small low truck or bus. And somebody has to drive it, after all, not many funerals do not have a hearse. While the hearse is almost always essential it is often not the only car used on the funeral. This is what a lot of people do not realise until they are involved in a funeral. Funeral directors also supply and often drive 'family/mourning cars' for close family and friends to travel in. It is basically a hire car driver role, not as much of a job as a real HC driver, but still very similar.
- Working the funeral: Although people see funeral directors at the funeral not many people actually look or remember the undertaker. The funeral staff often have light-hearted chats or jokes with the public, so it is not due to a 'morbid' or 'taboo' reasoning. Funeral staff will get people to sign the condolence book, carry the coffin, assist with the ceremony (religious or otherwise), direct people to the facilities such as toilets, help less mobile people in/out, direct people to parking if needed and much more. There is a lot going on behind the scenes on funerals, and the funeral directors do it all.
- Conducting the funeral: This is separate as it is a separate role and even position. Conductors get paid more and are responsible for everything on the day of the funeral. The rest of the funeral staff do not see them much, turning to the hearse driver instead. This is because the conductor will spend more time with the family or celebrant(s) and be unable to organise things out at the front of the funeral. But everything that happens on a funeral is ultimately the responsibility of the conductor.
- Carrying the coffin at the cemetery/crematorium: Sometimes people will carry on a funeral, however it is not something I would bet on with most funerals. Instead the funeral directors will carry the coffin about. However even if the family and/or friends do carry at the first part of the service they are unlikely to do so at the grave side of crematorium. They realise how heavy the coffin can be. How those handels, while pretty, are incredibly awkward and painful to hold. Then they look at the long, uneven and sometimes narrow distance needed to carry along. And they decline, falling quietly into the crowed. So yes, the funeral director will often end up carrying at some part of the service.
That is about it. There is more to the role, but nothing important or relevant. This is basically the job of a funeral director. Undertakes can however have less roles. By this I mean they can specialise, such as only doing transfers, or only doing mortuary work, or only driving the hearse.
There are many odd misconceptions surrounding the role of a funeral director. The most common is confusing funeral directors with grave diggers or crematorium staff. I was once told by a very strange man who I was driving on a funeral that he had a lot of ties with funeral directors. As a doctor he had met a lot, which is usually untrue, we do not meet many of the 'competition' in the health service unless it is in a mortuary. He also said that although this was the first funeral he had been to he talked with many funeral directors over the years. And that he knew we buried the bodies after the service at the grave so he would have time for a fe coffees while I buried his brother. I pictured myself, in my three piece suit, with a shovel in the middle of a grave. No matter how much I informed him otherwise he was convinced I would be the one to burry his brother. This is so wrong, the grave diggers burry the coffin. And they are qualified tradesmen/gardeners. You will see them at the cemetery with their workers fluro shirts or driving trucks. They have nothing to do with the body and we have nothing to do with it after the service.
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The public perspective is that the undertaker will organise the funeral, bring the coffin to the funeral, then to the grave or crematorium and that is basically it. This is fairly wrong. To start a 'funeral director' can mean and involve many different things. Once a mortician at a major hospital was telling me about the family of a deceased believing funeral directors were a rip off and un-necessary. As such they wanted to do everything themselves and save the thousands it costs to hire an undertaker. However he refused to release the body from the hospital as they did not have an appropriate vehicle. They had bought a station-wagon just for the job. But you need more than this, there are actual regulations and laws about what a vehicle needs to transfer a body, which a normal car does not meet. So they had the car modified specially, now it met the qualifications but he still could not release the body as they had incorrect papers. Then the family had issues with the cemetery. Finally they got a funeral director after much expense and waisted time. So obviously there is more to the role than just filling some forms and carrying a coffin.
I will break down the funeral director's role in order of action from beginning to end.
- Arranging the funeral: The arrangers are often experienced funeral directors who will go to the family's house and organise what they want on the funeral. From the coffin and flowers to printing the orders of service and buying the grave plot or booking the crematorium. They will book everyone and everything needed and just make sure it is all organised.
- Collecting the body: Firstly the funeral staff have to actually collect the body (through a process called a transfer). It could involve collecting the body from a hospital, crime scene, home, nursing home or just about anywhere else you can think of.
- Preparing the body: A lot of people have wishes for what they want done to their body when they die. And many are not willing or able to carry out these wishes on a loved one. This may involve just dressing the deceased in certain clothing. Or it could involve embalming the body for long-distance trips or for a crypt. The body is placed in the coffin in this stage as well.
- Driving: The hearse is long, big and heavy. It is best thought of as a small low truck or bus. And somebody has to drive it, after all, not many funerals do not have a hearse. While the hearse is almost always essential it is often not the only car used on the funeral. This is what a lot of people do not realise until they are involved in a funeral. Funeral directors also supply and often drive 'family/mourning cars' for close family and friends to travel in. It is basically a hire car driver role, not as much of a job as a real HC driver, but still very similar.
- Working the funeral: Although people see funeral directors at the funeral not many people actually look or remember the undertaker. The funeral staff often have light-hearted chats or jokes with the public, so it is not due to a 'morbid' or 'taboo' reasoning. Funeral staff will get people to sign the condolence book, carry the coffin, assist with the ceremony (religious or otherwise), direct people to the facilities such as toilets, help less mobile people in/out, direct people to parking if needed and much more. There is a lot going on behind the scenes on funerals, and the funeral directors do it all.
- Conducting the funeral: This is separate as it is a separate role and even position. Conductors get paid more and are responsible for everything on the day of the funeral. The rest of the funeral staff do not see them much, turning to the hearse driver instead. This is because the conductor will spend more time with the family or celebrant(s) and be unable to organise things out at the front of the funeral. But everything that happens on a funeral is ultimately the responsibility of the conductor.
- Carrying the coffin at the cemetery/crematorium: Sometimes people will carry on a funeral, however it is not something I would bet on with most funerals. Instead the funeral directors will carry the coffin about. However even if the family and/or friends do carry at the first part of the service they are unlikely to do so at the grave side of crematorium. They realise how heavy the coffin can be. How those handels, while pretty, are incredibly awkward and painful to hold. Then they look at the long, uneven and sometimes narrow distance needed to carry along. And they decline, falling quietly into the crowed. So yes, the funeral director will often end up carrying at some part of the service.
That is about it. There is more to the role, but nothing important or relevant. This is basically the job of a funeral director. Undertakes can however have less roles. By this I mean they can specialise, such as only doing transfers, or only doing mortuary work, or only driving the hearse.
There are many odd misconceptions surrounding the role of a funeral director. The most common is confusing funeral directors with grave diggers or crematorium staff. I was once told by a very strange man who I was driving on a funeral that he had a lot of ties with funeral directors. As a doctor he had met a lot, which is usually untrue, we do not meet many of the 'competition' in the health service unless it is in a mortuary. He also said that although this was the first funeral he had been to he talked with many funeral directors over the years. And that he knew we buried the bodies after the service at the grave so he would have time for a fe coffees while I buried his brother. I pictured myself, in my three piece suit, with a shovel in the middle of a grave. No matter how much I informed him otherwise he was convinced I would be the one to burry his brother. This is so wrong, the grave diggers burry the coffin. And they are qualified tradesmen/gardeners. You will see them at the cemetery with their workers fluro shirts or driving trucks. They have nothing to do with the body and we have nothing to do with it after the service.
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