Undertakers have a long tradition of stopping traffic, it is a natural part of the industry that many think little of. However, should they really be doing this?
Showing posts with label conductor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conductor. Show all posts
2013-02-27
2012-11-03
Funeral Fun - Holding hands
Recently I was at a funeral when something rather amusing happened at the graveside. It's about time I did a 'funeral fun' anyway!
2012-03-12
How We View the Undertaker & Why Many Deny the Job
Funeral directors get a lot of different and often strong reactions when telling people their occupations. In fact many funeral directors I talked with admitted that they had lied about or avoided the topic of their job at least once. They are not ashamed of what they do, no, they are actually often quite proud. However they feel others would likely judge them for doing the work they do.
This is not an unfounded notion. For example take a moment to think of 'funeral director' or 'undertaker'. One will usual conjure an image of a strange guy in a dark suit and oddly wearing a top hat, a person who is odd in nature and a little creepy. To further this google "undertaker" and you will find, strangely enough, the top images are of a wrestler. His clothing and appearance is dark, wearing a brimmed black hat and usually shown as dimly lit and with fog. Search "funeral director" and we find more images of various people in dark suits; many of whom are walking in front of or next to a hearse. Although many of them are smiling most of them are lacking colour or warmth. Looking for "embalmer" or "mortician" we get images of people in a mortuary, usually over a steel table, posing with tools or performing a procedure. All of these images are cold, the tiled walls, the vapid colours and the lack of expression on the persons face. There is rarely any colour other than hospital green and no smiling in any of these photos.
It is clear that searching for funeral people or related positions results in almost negative results. But we might doubt this is representative of the general public. After all, search for "archaeology" and the top hit is of Indiana Jones swinging his whip. However I very much doubt this would be the first thought for most people when they think of archaeology. So it is not much of a leap to assume that the google results for funeral professional images would not be too smilar to what people think of funeral professionals.
Yet this is not the case, people do think of strange things when thinking of undertakers. Undertakers have just cause for 'hiding' what they do for a living from others. A common reaction I and others in the industry have experienced is "I couldn't do that". This is one of the first things a few have said to me, and something several in the industry said they have heard. As if the job is for very few and definitely not for them. In saying this most are referring to what they perceive as a difficult job, both in terms of being dirty and emotional.
Lets break down this idea of it being a dirty job. What is strange is that it is usually less dirty a job than what a nurse, doctor or carer would have. The closest undertakers get to the body is putting the deceased in a bag and then later putting clothes on them. There is little actual contact with a body, less than for many carers. Yet it is considered more dirty than other jobs by most people. But not just dirty, it is also seen as grose and unclean. A nurse deals with the living, an undertaker deals with the dead and just this fact makes the job more dirty. I have been questioned about the 'quality' of bodies, how they decompose and how fast they decompose. A few people have said how the job must be bad at times commenting that bodies decompose fairly fast. What they do not realise is that the funeral industry is an old and experienced one. Bodies are preserved in a special fridge. People have an idea that the job involves dealing with decomposing bodies constantly. These questions and ideas lead to the notion that the process of touching a body, let alone interacting with 'it' is dirty. I have also been asked about "the smell of death", which does not exist, the closest thing is the smell of the embalming chemicals. Their scent would cling to clothing, and some people did comment on the odd smell. But it is closer to a chemical smell than a 'scent of death'. The very idea that death can have a smell, and that undertakers would be use or exposed to it is interesting. Death itself has a presence, which lingers on those who associate themselves with it. In other words this dirtiness of the body (in this case the smell) clings to those who work with bodies. It follows them home and stays with them. Basically to many the act of touching a body is dirty in itself, but also that this dirtiness transfers to those who touch the body.
The emotional difficulty is also something some raise. Just recently I had someone say "it must be emotionally hard". That undertakers have a depressing job in dealing with the depressed living and dealing with the dead. Many think of a funeral as a sad and fairly depressing affair. We turn once again to our friend google to look for images of "funeral". What comes up are pictures, usually void of colour and just black and white of people standing around a coffin in a cemetery. The people are often crying or looking sadly at the coffin as it is either carried or lowered. What I found is that many funerals, while sad in a way, are a 'celebration' of the departed. People did not linger on the negatives of their loss but clung to the positives of their impact on those left behind. Of the good times they had and the good memories they will keep. However, to be perfectly honest, most funerals are more an excuse to have lunch while catching up with relative otherwise rarely seen. I was primarily a 'family car driver', which involved driving around the close family and/or friends of the deceased on the funeral. These families or friends were rarely depressed or difficult. Actually most were actually really fun and great people, and we often had a great time together. So funerals, and those attending, are not really emotionally difficult or draining in most cases. As for dealing with death and bodies this is not an issue. Not to sound cold but you will get use to it after a couple of bodies. Medical professionals who treat and work with patients have more trouble with 'death' or 'bodies than funeral directors. For example at some nursing homes where the staff focused on or spent a lot of time with patients they were sad to see them die. These nurses would often be involved in the transfer if they could, wanting to oversee the paperwork and the process. In doing so they would quietly or silently say their goodbyes to the patient. However the funeral director did not know the deceased in anyway other than them being deceased. Thus there is less emotional connection, simply put it is not personal. Having said that children or babies were different, especially to parents and more so if the deceased reminded them of their own child. While funerals were rarely a sad event, more often being closer to a family gathering, the children's funerals were different. They were not 'sad' or 'depressing' but were much more tense. Everything was more important, everything was more observed and everything had to go perfectly. Appart from children or infants overall I found being an undertaker was emotionally less difficult than working on a cash register.
There was once instance that was surprising to me. I had driven an older man, his wife and their first daughter on a funeral. The relation they had to the deceased I cannot remember. Either way the job had gone well and despite the husband and wife's lack of English we had a good time. We had a good time and everything had gone well. Then about six weeks later I was sent to an address that appeared familiar. upon arrival I recognised the place. It turned out that the husband had died and I was now driving his wife and all three daughters. Overall it was a really enjoyable job, the wife (still lacking English) obviously appreciated me being there again. We again had a good day, although now it had a slightly sad atmosphere to it. This was the closest I ever came to an emotional connection.
So people unreasonably see it as a dirty, emotionally negative job. But this is not enough for those in the industry to hide their occupation. The main reason for this is that a few people judge those with the job negatively. It is rare and I only experienced it once, yet it happens and especially with older or Asian people. Once they find out that the person is a funeral director they want little to do with that person. Mainly as they see it as dirty and that not only does this dirtiness follow the undertaker home but it makes the undertaker themselves dirty. Yes, some believe undertakers to be dirty or contaminated, marked by death and disease. Look at certain Asian cultures (such as those who are Buddhist, Indian or Chinese) who consider those in the funeral industry to be untouchable and the lowest class possible. A good example is the movie 'Departures' where a Japanese man discovers his calling in the funeral industry after he is unable to find any other work. At first he is reluctant and fights the idea of being an undertaker, only doing so as he is desperate for work. And when his wife finds out she leaves him. To certain groups being a funeral director is not just dirty but also wrong.
Many, especially those who are older or Asian, would react badly to the news of one being a funeral director. Even if they do not react badly, they often react inappropriately or are uneasy with the news. Thus many undertakes have avoided or actively lied about what they do for a living. All despite most being proud of what the job and understanding that, while it is not dirty or emotion, that most people will view it this way.
~~
This is not an unfounded notion. For example take a moment to think of 'funeral director' or 'undertaker'. One will usual conjure an image of a strange guy in a dark suit and oddly wearing a top hat, a person who is odd in nature and a little creepy. To further this google "undertaker" and you will find, strangely enough, the top images are of a wrestler. His clothing and appearance is dark, wearing a brimmed black hat and usually shown as dimly lit and with fog. Search "funeral director" and we find more images of various people in dark suits; many of whom are walking in front of or next to a hearse. Although many of them are smiling most of them are lacking colour or warmth. Looking for "embalmer" or "mortician" we get images of people in a mortuary, usually over a steel table, posing with tools or performing a procedure. All of these images are cold, the tiled walls, the vapid colours and the lack of expression on the persons face. There is rarely any colour other than hospital green and no smiling in any of these photos.
It is clear that searching for funeral people or related positions results in almost negative results. But we might doubt this is representative of the general public. After all, search for "archaeology" and the top hit is of Indiana Jones swinging his whip. However I very much doubt this would be the first thought for most people when they think of archaeology. So it is not much of a leap to assume that the google results for funeral professional images would not be too smilar to what people think of funeral professionals.
Yet this is not the case, people do think of strange things when thinking of undertakers. Undertakers have just cause for 'hiding' what they do for a living from others. A common reaction I and others in the industry have experienced is "I couldn't do that". This is one of the first things a few have said to me, and something several in the industry said they have heard. As if the job is for very few and definitely not for them. In saying this most are referring to what they perceive as a difficult job, both in terms of being dirty and emotional.
Lets break down this idea of it being a dirty job. What is strange is that it is usually less dirty a job than what a nurse, doctor or carer would have. The closest undertakers get to the body is putting the deceased in a bag and then later putting clothes on them. There is little actual contact with a body, less than for many carers. Yet it is considered more dirty than other jobs by most people. But not just dirty, it is also seen as grose and unclean. A nurse deals with the living, an undertaker deals with the dead and just this fact makes the job more dirty. I have been questioned about the 'quality' of bodies, how they decompose and how fast they decompose. A few people have said how the job must be bad at times commenting that bodies decompose fairly fast. What they do not realise is that the funeral industry is an old and experienced one. Bodies are preserved in a special fridge. People have an idea that the job involves dealing with decomposing bodies constantly. These questions and ideas lead to the notion that the process of touching a body, let alone interacting with 'it' is dirty. I have also been asked about "the smell of death", which does not exist, the closest thing is the smell of the embalming chemicals. Their scent would cling to clothing, and some people did comment on the odd smell. But it is closer to a chemical smell than a 'scent of death'. The very idea that death can have a smell, and that undertakers would be use or exposed to it is interesting. Death itself has a presence, which lingers on those who associate themselves with it. In other words this dirtiness of the body (in this case the smell) clings to those who work with bodies. It follows them home and stays with them. Basically to many the act of touching a body is dirty in itself, but also that this dirtiness transfers to those who touch the body.
The emotional difficulty is also something some raise. Just recently I had someone say "it must be emotionally hard". That undertakers have a depressing job in dealing with the depressed living and dealing with the dead. Many think of a funeral as a sad and fairly depressing affair. We turn once again to our friend google to look for images of "funeral". What comes up are pictures, usually void of colour and just black and white of people standing around a coffin in a cemetery. The people are often crying or looking sadly at the coffin as it is either carried or lowered. What I found is that many funerals, while sad in a way, are a 'celebration' of the departed. People did not linger on the negatives of their loss but clung to the positives of their impact on those left behind. Of the good times they had and the good memories they will keep. However, to be perfectly honest, most funerals are more an excuse to have lunch while catching up with relative otherwise rarely seen. I was primarily a 'family car driver', which involved driving around the close family and/or friends of the deceased on the funeral. These families or friends were rarely depressed or difficult. Actually most were actually really fun and great people, and we often had a great time together. So funerals, and those attending, are not really emotionally difficult or draining in most cases. As for dealing with death and bodies this is not an issue. Not to sound cold but you will get use to it after a couple of bodies. Medical professionals who treat and work with patients have more trouble with 'death' or 'bodies than funeral directors. For example at some nursing homes where the staff focused on or spent a lot of time with patients they were sad to see them die. These nurses would often be involved in the transfer if they could, wanting to oversee the paperwork and the process. In doing so they would quietly or silently say their goodbyes to the patient. However the funeral director did not know the deceased in anyway other than them being deceased. Thus there is less emotional connection, simply put it is not personal. Having said that children or babies were different, especially to parents and more so if the deceased reminded them of their own child. While funerals were rarely a sad event, more often being closer to a family gathering, the children's funerals were different. They were not 'sad' or 'depressing' but were much more tense. Everything was more important, everything was more observed and everything had to go perfectly. Appart from children or infants overall I found being an undertaker was emotionally less difficult than working on a cash register.
There was once instance that was surprising to me. I had driven an older man, his wife and their first daughter on a funeral. The relation they had to the deceased I cannot remember. Either way the job had gone well and despite the husband and wife's lack of English we had a good time. We had a good time and everything had gone well. Then about six weeks later I was sent to an address that appeared familiar. upon arrival I recognised the place. It turned out that the husband had died and I was now driving his wife and all three daughters. Overall it was a really enjoyable job, the wife (still lacking English) obviously appreciated me being there again. We again had a good day, although now it had a slightly sad atmosphere to it. This was the closest I ever came to an emotional connection.
So people unreasonably see it as a dirty, emotionally negative job. But this is not enough for those in the industry to hide their occupation. The main reason for this is that a few people judge those with the job negatively. It is rare and I only experienced it once, yet it happens and especially with older or Asian people. Once they find out that the person is a funeral director they want little to do with that person. Mainly as they see it as dirty and that not only does this dirtiness follow the undertaker home but it makes the undertaker themselves dirty. Yes, some believe undertakers to be dirty or contaminated, marked by death and disease. Look at certain Asian cultures (such as those who are Buddhist, Indian or Chinese) who consider those in the funeral industry to be untouchable and the lowest class possible. A good example is the movie 'Departures' where a Japanese man discovers his calling in the funeral industry after he is unable to find any other work. At first he is reluctant and fights the idea of being an undertaker, only doing so as he is desperate for work. And when his wife finds out she leaves him. To certain groups being a funeral director is not just dirty but also wrong.
Many, especially those who are older or Asian, would react badly to the news of one being a funeral director. Even if they do not react badly, they often react inappropriately or are uneasy with the news. Thus many undertakes have avoided or actively lied about what they do for a living. All despite most being proud of what the job and understanding that, while it is not dirty or emotion, that most people will view it this way.
~~
2012-03-06
Funeral Fun - The Crowed and Dementia Lady
As a family car driver it is quite common to be out and about on the roads all day. You may get a pickup so early that you barely have time to get changed and go, then finish so late the sun has gone down. But you get use to it after a while, and do little things to make the day go by a bit easier. Such as keeping snack on your person to much on when nobody is looking.
One of these days however had been so long and tiring. In fact it had been a long week of me racing about doing lots of things in each day. It was the middle of the week and I had to pick up the wife of the deceased at 13:15. The day sheet specified that she did not want to get there too early, before the coffin was at and in the church and was to call her on approach 5minutes before I arrived. And considering the service started at 13:30 and church was literally 5 minutes drive away this could be an issue. But no worries, I worked out a way that would take up some time, plus by the time she actually got in the car we would not be there too early.
When it was time to set off I said bye to the conductor, telling him I would not be there before 13:30. He replied that he knew the situation and would make sure the coffin was in before I even picked her up. Little did we know things would not turn out this way.
I arrived at the nursing home, a rather nice middle-class one with lots of independent living. As traffic was good and the distance short I got there at 13:00, too early. Again, I was not worried as it gave me time to make sure the car was clean and organised and to phone her without driving. I had a habit of calling 15minutes before the pickup time and let them know I would be 5 minutes early. Not too early as to hurry them but definitely not late either. This was because many a time the family would more about the pickup time about. So I called at 13:00, informing the wife that I would be there at about 13:10 and there was no need to hurry as I knew the church was close. This is something I soon regretted. The wife was a lovely lady, very kind and nice, but mostly checked out. We later discovered she had milde to moderate dementia and the event of her husbands sudden death exacerbated it. She had trouble making, and communicating, decisions or information over the phone. At first she was quite happy with what I told her, then suddenly worried insisting I arrive at 13:45. Both not wanting to wait about and not wanting to rush over to the church I informed her that the service would start around then and it was probably best she arrive a little before to touch base with the priest, funeral staff and other mourners. At first the conversation was very pleasant although confusing. However it began to deteriorate into just confusion and indecision. So I suggested and settled on picking her up at 13:20.
After waiting about for ages it was finally time to get her. I drove in and waited in the car park as instructed. Eventually the wife and her sister, who was a sister (nun) came down. We introduced ourselves and exchanged pleasantries, they were both quite nice people. And off we went to the church.
Driving up to the church we come around the last corner and are greeted with the sight of a small crowd around the back of the hearse. There is the conductor and hearse driver and a bunch of people all doing something with the coffin inside the hearse. Obviously things had not gone to plan, a fact which I would like to prevent the wife noticing more for her sake than anything else. So I look about but the only place to park is right behind the hearse and the crowd, right in front of the ordeal. As I pull up the conductor sees me, races over and opens my door, while the car is still moving. I was just so shocked, this conductor is such a composed person who is really difficult to rattle. Yet here he is, opening my door before I even stop to tell me there is a problem.
Luckily, due possibly to her dementia she never noticed and upon seeing my door open also opened her door, proceeding to hope out as she did so. Between the sight at the hearse and conductor opening my door so suddenly and unexpectedly I was surprised and still moving slightly. Thankfully she was not hurt and got out like nothing was wrong.
After everyone was out of the car the hearse driver, conductor and I went over to the coffin still in the hearse out front of the church. Without wasting time talking we got a young kid to help us (the deceased was heavy) and took the coffin out, into the church. The hearse driver and I went to one side where I asked what happened, why the coffin was not in place already.
He told me that the staff member who was sent to help us had been called away by the big boss when he was only 5minutes from the church. The boss had him race back to the office to get a payment check for the priest for this job, then come all the way back to the church. Obviously he arrived late, unable to help. All four of us were less than impressed, the whole point of having him on the funeral was defeated. But this did not explain the crowd. So I asked about why there were all those people fussing behind the hearse. The hearse driver explained that they had found two people quite willing to help carry in, the young boy wo had helped us and a middle aged man. However as they had pulled the coffin out the man told them he had bad knees and did not think he could hold the weight. Seeing him start to wobble the conductor insisted they put the coffin straight back into the hearse.
When the conductor came out he told us that the priest had already been paid, by the family, and did not need us to pay him to. he could not understand the cheque that was so important (even if we did need to pay him, we could post the cheque as we have done before). The conductor then rang up the office, not wanting to pay the priest twice for one job. In a 'brilliant' move our office insisted he ask the wife about the payment. Yes, our office wanted the conductor of her husbands funeral on her husbands funeral if she had paid the priest. Even though I reminded the office and conductor of her dementia. If she had trouble telling time then organising a payment might not be easy or reliable. But the office insisted that the conductor ask.
So the service ended, everyone is out the front milling about and the conductor seized this opportunity to ask the wife. It was as good a time as any that would be found during a funeral. He came back over to us after some time with his head in his hands. The poor lady had no idea one way or the other and was now convinced she had to still pay him. The priest was set to get paid three times for one job, at about $250 per job that would amount to a nice bit. Another stick in the score for our offices ingrained inefficiency and borderline incompetence.
Driving the wife to the cemetery she had no idea and was quite happy considering the circumstances. Given that the funeral was exacerbating moderate dementia she only had a lose grasp on the situation. But with her sister the sister looking out for her she would be fine. However she later wanted to stop for a coffee after the cemetery service, something I did not want to do. So in another post I'll explain the time I prevented a nice old lady with dementia stopping for a coffee.
~~
One of these days however had been so long and tiring. In fact it had been a long week of me racing about doing lots of things in each day. It was the middle of the week and I had to pick up the wife of the deceased at 13:15. The day sheet specified that she did not want to get there too early, before the coffin was at and in the church and was to call her on approach 5minutes before I arrived. And considering the service started at 13:30 and church was literally 5 minutes drive away this could be an issue. But no worries, I worked out a way that would take up some time, plus by the time she actually got in the car we would not be there too early.
When it was time to set off I said bye to the conductor, telling him I would not be there before 13:30. He replied that he knew the situation and would make sure the coffin was in before I even picked her up. Little did we know things would not turn out this way.
I arrived at the nursing home, a rather nice middle-class one with lots of independent living. As traffic was good and the distance short I got there at 13:00, too early. Again, I was not worried as it gave me time to make sure the car was clean and organised and to phone her without driving. I had a habit of calling 15minutes before the pickup time and let them know I would be 5 minutes early. Not too early as to hurry them but definitely not late either. This was because many a time the family would more about the pickup time about. So I called at 13:00, informing the wife that I would be there at about 13:10 and there was no need to hurry as I knew the church was close. This is something I soon regretted. The wife was a lovely lady, very kind and nice, but mostly checked out. We later discovered she had milde to moderate dementia and the event of her husbands sudden death exacerbated it. She had trouble making, and communicating, decisions or information over the phone. At first she was quite happy with what I told her, then suddenly worried insisting I arrive at 13:45. Both not wanting to wait about and not wanting to rush over to the church I informed her that the service would start around then and it was probably best she arrive a little before to touch base with the priest, funeral staff and other mourners. At first the conversation was very pleasant although confusing. However it began to deteriorate into just confusion and indecision. So I suggested and settled on picking her up at 13:20.
After waiting about for ages it was finally time to get her. I drove in and waited in the car park as instructed. Eventually the wife and her sister, who was a sister (nun) came down. We introduced ourselves and exchanged pleasantries, they were both quite nice people. And off we went to the church.
Driving up to the church we come around the last corner and are greeted with the sight of a small crowd around the back of the hearse. There is the conductor and hearse driver and a bunch of people all doing something with the coffin inside the hearse. Obviously things had not gone to plan, a fact which I would like to prevent the wife noticing more for her sake than anything else. So I look about but the only place to park is right behind the hearse and the crowd, right in front of the ordeal. As I pull up the conductor sees me, races over and opens my door, while the car is still moving. I was just so shocked, this conductor is such a composed person who is really difficult to rattle. Yet here he is, opening my door before I even stop to tell me there is a problem.
Luckily, due possibly to her dementia she never noticed and upon seeing my door open also opened her door, proceeding to hope out as she did so. Between the sight at the hearse and conductor opening my door so suddenly and unexpectedly I was surprised and still moving slightly. Thankfully she was not hurt and got out like nothing was wrong.
After everyone was out of the car the hearse driver, conductor and I went over to the coffin still in the hearse out front of the church. Without wasting time talking we got a young kid to help us (the deceased was heavy) and took the coffin out, into the church. The hearse driver and I went to one side where I asked what happened, why the coffin was not in place already.
He told me that the staff member who was sent to help us had been called away by the big boss when he was only 5minutes from the church. The boss had him race back to the office to get a payment check for the priest for this job, then come all the way back to the church. Obviously he arrived late, unable to help. All four of us were less than impressed, the whole point of having him on the funeral was defeated. But this did not explain the crowd. So I asked about why there were all those people fussing behind the hearse. The hearse driver explained that they had found two people quite willing to help carry in, the young boy wo had helped us and a middle aged man. However as they had pulled the coffin out the man told them he had bad knees and did not think he could hold the weight. Seeing him start to wobble the conductor insisted they put the coffin straight back into the hearse.
When the conductor came out he told us that the priest had already been paid, by the family, and did not need us to pay him to. he could not understand the cheque that was so important (even if we did need to pay him, we could post the cheque as we have done before). The conductor then rang up the office, not wanting to pay the priest twice for one job. In a 'brilliant' move our office insisted he ask the wife about the payment. Yes, our office wanted the conductor of her husbands funeral on her husbands funeral if she had paid the priest. Even though I reminded the office and conductor of her dementia. If she had trouble telling time then organising a payment might not be easy or reliable. But the office insisted that the conductor ask.
So the service ended, everyone is out the front milling about and the conductor seized this opportunity to ask the wife. It was as good a time as any that would be found during a funeral. He came back over to us after some time with his head in his hands. The poor lady had no idea one way or the other and was now convinced she had to still pay him. The priest was set to get paid three times for one job, at about $250 per job that would amount to a nice bit. Another stick in the score for our offices ingrained inefficiency and borderline incompetence.
Driving the wife to the cemetery she had no idea and was quite happy considering the circumstances. Given that the funeral was exacerbating moderate dementia she only had a lose grasp on the situation. But with her sister the sister looking out for her she would be fine. However she later wanted to stop for a coffee after the cemetery service, something I did not want to do. So in another post I'll explain the time I prevented a nice old lady with dementia stopping for a coffee.
~~
2012-03-01
What is a Funeral Director?
What a funeral director or undertaker is may appear to be simple or obvious. But it is surprising how many people get it wrong. Unless they have been in or heavily around the industry many are quite wrong about = the industry. What our roles are, our responsibilities, what happens, who runs things and so on. Thus I have decided to put together a brief post about what a funeral director actually is. I will cover some other roles in the industry, but the focus is on funeral directors.
The public perspective is that the undertaker will organise the funeral, bring the coffin to the funeral, then to the grave or crematorium and that is basically it. This is fairly wrong. To start a 'funeral director' can mean and involve many different things. Once a mortician at a major hospital was telling me about the family of a deceased believing funeral directors were a rip off and un-necessary. As such they wanted to do everything themselves and save the thousands it costs to hire an undertaker. However he refused to release the body from the hospital as they did not have an appropriate vehicle. They had bought a station-wagon just for the job. But you need more than this, there are actual regulations and laws about what a vehicle needs to transfer a body, which a normal car does not meet. So they had the car modified specially, now it met the qualifications but he still could not release the body as they had incorrect papers. Then the family had issues with the cemetery. Finally they got a funeral director after much expense and waisted time. So obviously there is more to the role than just filling some forms and carrying a coffin.
I will break down the funeral director's role in order of action from beginning to end.
- Arranging the funeral: The arrangers are often experienced funeral directors who will go to the family's house and organise what they want on the funeral. From the coffin and flowers to printing the orders of service and buying the grave plot or booking the crematorium. They will book everyone and everything needed and just make sure it is all organised.
- Collecting the body: Firstly the funeral staff have to actually collect the body (through a process called a transfer). It could involve collecting the body from a hospital, crime scene, home, nursing home or just about anywhere else you can think of.
- Preparing the body: A lot of people have wishes for what they want done to their body when they die. And many are not willing or able to carry out these wishes on a loved one. This may involve just dressing the deceased in certain clothing. Or it could involve embalming the body for long-distance trips or for a crypt. The body is placed in the coffin in this stage as well.
- Driving: The hearse is long, big and heavy. It is best thought of as a small low truck or bus. And somebody has to drive it, after all, not many funerals do not have a hearse. While the hearse is almost always essential it is often not the only car used on the funeral. This is what a lot of people do not realise until they are involved in a funeral. Funeral directors also supply and often drive 'family/mourning cars' for close family and friends to travel in. It is basically a hire car driver role, not as much of a job as a real HC driver, but still very similar.
- Working the funeral: Although people see funeral directors at the funeral not many people actually look or remember the undertaker. The funeral staff often have light-hearted chats or jokes with the public, so it is not due to a 'morbid' or 'taboo' reasoning. Funeral staff will get people to sign the condolence book, carry the coffin, assist with the ceremony (religious or otherwise), direct people to the facilities such as toilets, help less mobile people in/out, direct people to parking if needed and much more. There is a lot going on behind the scenes on funerals, and the funeral directors do it all.
- Conducting the funeral: This is separate as it is a separate role and even position. Conductors get paid more and are responsible for everything on the day of the funeral. The rest of the funeral staff do not see them much, turning to the hearse driver instead. This is because the conductor will spend more time with the family or celebrant(s) and be unable to organise things out at the front of the funeral. But everything that happens on a funeral is ultimately the responsibility of the conductor.
- Carrying the coffin at the cemetery/crematorium: Sometimes people will carry on a funeral, however it is not something I would bet on with most funerals. Instead the funeral directors will carry the coffin about. However even if the family and/or friends do carry at the first part of the service they are unlikely to do so at the grave side of crematorium. They realise how heavy the coffin can be. How those handels, while pretty, are incredibly awkward and painful to hold. Then they look at the long, uneven and sometimes narrow distance needed to carry along. And they decline, falling quietly into the crowed. So yes, the funeral director will often end up carrying at some part of the service.
That is about it. There is more to the role, but nothing important or relevant. This is basically the job of a funeral director. Undertakes can however have less roles. By this I mean they can specialise, such as only doing transfers, or only doing mortuary work, or only driving the hearse.
There are many odd misconceptions surrounding the role of a funeral director. The most common is confusing funeral directors with grave diggers or crematorium staff. I was once told by a very strange man who I was driving on a funeral that he had a lot of ties with funeral directors. As a doctor he had met a lot, which is usually untrue, we do not meet many of the 'competition' in the health service unless it is in a mortuary. He also said that although this was the first funeral he had been to he talked with many funeral directors over the years. And that he knew we buried the bodies after the service at the grave so he would have time for a fe coffees while I buried his brother. I pictured myself, in my three piece suit, with a shovel in the middle of a grave. No matter how much I informed him otherwise he was convinced I would be the one to burry his brother. This is so wrong, the grave diggers burry the coffin. And they are qualified tradesmen/gardeners. You will see them at the cemetery with their workers fluro shirts or driving trucks. They have nothing to do with the body and we have nothing to do with it after the service.
~~
The public perspective is that the undertaker will organise the funeral, bring the coffin to the funeral, then to the grave or crematorium and that is basically it. This is fairly wrong. To start a 'funeral director' can mean and involve many different things. Once a mortician at a major hospital was telling me about the family of a deceased believing funeral directors were a rip off and un-necessary. As such they wanted to do everything themselves and save the thousands it costs to hire an undertaker. However he refused to release the body from the hospital as they did not have an appropriate vehicle. They had bought a station-wagon just for the job. But you need more than this, there are actual regulations and laws about what a vehicle needs to transfer a body, which a normal car does not meet. So they had the car modified specially, now it met the qualifications but he still could not release the body as they had incorrect papers. Then the family had issues with the cemetery. Finally they got a funeral director after much expense and waisted time. So obviously there is more to the role than just filling some forms and carrying a coffin.
I will break down the funeral director's role in order of action from beginning to end.
- Arranging the funeral: The arrangers are often experienced funeral directors who will go to the family's house and organise what they want on the funeral. From the coffin and flowers to printing the orders of service and buying the grave plot or booking the crematorium. They will book everyone and everything needed and just make sure it is all organised.
- Collecting the body: Firstly the funeral staff have to actually collect the body (through a process called a transfer). It could involve collecting the body from a hospital, crime scene, home, nursing home or just about anywhere else you can think of.
- Preparing the body: A lot of people have wishes for what they want done to their body when they die. And many are not willing or able to carry out these wishes on a loved one. This may involve just dressing the deceased in certain clothing. Or it could involve embalming the body for long-distance trips or for a crypt. The body is placed in the coffin in this stage as well.
- Driving: The hearse is long, big and heavy. It is best thought of as a small low truck or bus. And somebody has to drive it, after all, not many funerals do not have a hearse. While the hearse is almost always essential it is often not the only car used on the funeral. This is what a lot of people do not realise until they are involved in a funeral. Funeral directors also supply and often drive 'family/mourning cars' for close family and friends to travel in. It is basically a hire car driver role, not as much of a job as a real HC driver, but still very similar.
- Working the funeral: Although people see funeral directors at the funeral not many people actually look or remember the undertaker. The funeral staff often have light-hearted chats or jokes with the public, so it is not due to a 'morbid' or 'taboo' reasoning. Funeral staff will get people to sign the condolence book, carry the coffin, assist with the ceremony (religious or otherwise), direct people to the facilities such as toilets, help less mobile people in/out, direct people to parking if needed and much more. There is a lot going on behind the scenes on funerals, and the funeral directors do it all.
- Conducting the funeral: This is separate as it is a separate role and even position. Conductors get paid more and are responsible for everything on the day of the funeral. The rest of the funeral staff do not see them much, turning to the hearse driver instead. This is because the conductor will spend more time with the family or celebrant(s) and be unable to organise things out at the front of the funeral. But everything that happens on a funeral is ultimately the responsibility of the conductor.
- Carrying the coffin at the cemetery/crematorium: Sometimes people will carry on a funeral, however it is not something I would bet on with most funerals. Instead the funeral directors will carry the coffin about. However even if the family and/or friends do carry at the first part of the service they are unlikely to do so at the grave side of crematorium. They realise how heavy the coffin can be. How those handels, while pretty, are incredibly awkward and painful to hold. Then they look at the long, uneven and sometimes narrow distance needed to carry along. And they decline, falling quietly into the crowed. So yes, the funeral director will often end up carrying at some part of the service.
That is about it. There is more to the role, but nothing important or relevant. This is basically the job of a funeral director. Undertakes can however have less roles. By this I mean they can specialise, such as only doing transfers, or only doing mortuary work, or only driving the hearse.
There are many odd misconceptions surrounding the role of a funeral director. The most common is confusing funeral directors with grave diggers or crematorium staff. I was once told by a very strange man who I was driving on a funeral that he had a lot of ties with funeral directors. As a doctor he had met a lot, which is usually untrue, we do not meet many of the 'competition' in the health service unless it is in a mortuary. He also said that although this was the first funeral he had been to he talked with many funeral directors over the years. And that he knew we buried the bodies after the service at the grave so he would have time for a fe coffees while I buried his brother. I pictured myself, in my three piece suit, with a shovel in the middle of a grave. No matter how much I informed him otherwise he was convinced I would be the one to burry his brother. This is so wrong, the grave diggers burry the coffin. And they are qualified tradesmen/gardeners. You will see them at the cemetery with their workers fluro shirts or driving trucks. They have nothing to do with the body and we have nothing to do with it after the service.
~~
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